What Fades Away

Claire's Journal - Three

Gods and Angels

April 26

I’m not sure I even believe in a god. After all the shit I’ve been through, all the shit I’ve seen – even if one existed, what allegiance do I owe that motherfucker? But when it comes to philosophical debates with supposed “angels” I am incredibly outgunned. So I guess I might as well believe for now.

Went to see Drake to tell him about what we learned in the Hedge. He was actually surprisingly cool. Can you believe he invited us to a barbecue on Saturday? It was kind of weird and unexpected but it’s free food. I think he’s trying to lure us over to the Summer Court; I’m flattered but not really interested right now.

Although. He mentioned something he’s heard about Queen Mae. About…odd behaviour, and hanging out in Millington. I’m not entirely sure why he told me – maybe he’s just trying to sway me over to the Summer Court with it. If so, bold move. But…another part of me wonders if maybe he’s trying to make me distrust her for some other reason. To cast suspicion off of himself and onto her. Which begs the question “What does King Drake have to be suspicious about?”

When I got home from work, an old man was sitting on the stairs. I asked if he lived here and when he responded, he…he knew my name. So I tried to pistol-whip him for it (because of course I did) but he moved out of the way so fast. I guess I can add that to my list of weird life experiences I never, ever thought I’d have. #5871: Attempted assault of an angel.

That’s what he said he was. Just an unassuming older bald man sitting at my table, drinking my apple juice, and claiming to be an angel. Most people would’ve written him off as a crank, but I…I don’t think so. He was something. Not like me, obviously, but some kind of supe. He knew things others wouldn’t know, and he wanted to help me.

He told me the answer I was looking for. And how to fix the problem.

Dani wants me to fix the problem. It’d be so easy to just get close enough and whisper into the killer’s ear…and that’d be it. I mean, “easy” is a relative term. But everything would be solved and I’d be a Motherfucking Hero. And I’m tempted, I am.

But…the King already warned me not to kill vampires. Because that’s what the murderer is, a vampire. The real world won’t miss him – hell, eliminating one of those predators is like a gift for humanity. But again…this is shit I don’t want to bring on us.

At the very least, I need to talk to this asshole. There are questions about Dana that he can answer for me. Dani can get me close to do it. But whether I can stomach actually doing it…fuck.

I don’t even fucking know.

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Lamb

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